Tanning Beds..

You go in White as a Potato,

And come out

Fried like a French Fry

Yes, behold, the human french fryer. 

an itsy-bitsy confession

  In my fallen state of human nature, I kind of want it to happen to him.

The REAL Reason Hillary is Running for President...

Is so that she can go home.

Yeah, all of that other stuff, it's just a cover.

Jon makes me laugh yet again!

Does anyone else's penance involve feather pillows?

As Jon's wife, I just had to laugh when I woke up to find his 'spiritual exercise'; it was so cute and characteristic of Jon!

As an extra laugh....this reminds me of a close friend who used to stay up all hours of the night..she was my roommate and I hardly remember her ever actually sleeping...anyway, when I brought this to her attention this is how it went:

Me: You're up all the time, that can't be good for you

Friend: Well, some of the greatest saints only slept a few hours a night

Me: They were starting religious orders; you're watching The Golden Girls

;)

Jessica-isms

For those very blessed ones of you who read my blog and also know Jessica, you know how bubbly and unique her personality is. Tonight, I had a strange thought enter my head: I wish I had kept a notebook since the day I met her so I would have a collection of all of the things that she has said to me and Jon. Some make me think more, like what our ear flaps are for and why we need our eyebrows, and others make me laugh, like adding a single chocolate chip to a cookie for flavor.

One such thing happened tonight while we were baking aforementioned cookies in the kitchen:

Jessica: Hey! I like your knees!

:) Between her and Jon I really don't have to create any material myself for this blog.

Look at that panache!

I have to say, I am very impressed with this photo of me.

If I didn't know me, I would say that I am pretty hardcore cool.

(Really, I should be in a ski magazine. No, on the cover of a ski magazine)

But, the fact is, I do know me, which means I also know how much of a ploy this pose really is.

I can substantiate this confession with three embarrassing instances that work together to eradicate any semblance of coolness or skiing competence: (can you tell I have been studying GRE vocab with my husband?)

1) When warned as I am about to enter the chair lift that my loose pant suspenders could get caught in the chair lift, I am so distracted by the thought of being tragically dragged up part of the mountain hanging onto the chair lift by my suspenders that I get my right leg caught and lose a ski (which felt like losing my right ankle too, but I didn't)! So, while I am desperately trying to tuck in my suspenders on the chair, I am also conscious of my imminent and unavoidable fall since I will have to descend the lift on one ski! I don't know, but a crash is just so much worse when you know it's going to happen in less than 2 minutes.

2) Jon thinks I am having a blast--the time of my life--when I take off darting down the mountain. In truth: a moment when helplessness is mistaken for audacity. 

.........Jon: Yeah! Go, Lauren, Go!

3) While trying to make turns down the "fawn" trail, I recognize that a super small child on super small skis has better control than I do.

So, now we see, I look cool blending in with the ski crowd, but the truth is, I ski worse than a toddler.