Confessions of a Steubie Wife

Final Post

2009-06-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

Considering that

a) I am no longer a "Steubie" Wife, but now a Houston one..

b) have limited internet access..

c) need to read more..like a lot more..

d) find Facebook sufficient for keeping in touch with family and friends..

I am going to discontinue blogging for now...

St. Anne, pray for us and for our families.

Happy 5 Month Birthday Sweet Daughter

2009-05-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Piggy has come a long way in 5 mos. She loves...

laughing

being tickled

touching her toes

talking in the morning

watching kitties on youtube

acting shy with her papa

tasting new foods

cold water!

bath time

watching me dance

nursing to sleep

kisses all over

bananas

LOTS of eye contact

changing facial expressions

lounging in her bouncer seat in the mornings

birds

walks outside

Spring in Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh

2009-04-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

The sling police would be after me for having the ring so low and not on my shoulder. sigh.

At our favorite Mediterranean restaurant..wearing sunglasses because they're prescription! Usually people think he's trying to be "cool" and he has even had someone tell him to take his glasses off while he was ordering. He responded, "But then I wouldn't be able to SEE." haha

Clare snoozing and mama being very still and quiet at a coffee shop while Jon studies

Our giggly girl in her sunbonnet

skins and the sauce! skins and the sauce!

2009-04-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

2009-04-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

The girl that I let pull my hair all day...because I love her.

Perspectives

2009-04-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

Jon, 6 ft 3 in and 175 lbs, takes demands from a 25 inch girl who weighs 16 lbs.

Laura's Baby Shower

2009-04-08T19:48:00.001-07:00

2009-04-05T19:27:00.001-07:00

These happened in a slightly different order, but for theatrical effect, here is the girl getting caught with her hand in the jelly bean jar

Husband taking comprehensive exams

2009-04-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

Why today was AWESOME

2009-04-01T18:14:00.000-07:00

1. Had a good night's rest, which is hard to come by these days.

2. Got Jon around midnight with my April Fool's joke that "I thought I was pregnant again." Best part was he WAS HAPPY (and honestly surprised since I am breastfeeding and Clare is only 4 mos old). Realized I was indeed married to a saint.

3. Woke up this morning to the smell of coffee. And to my handsome husband. I wonder how people say that they "would get bored married to the same person" or that they "would stop finding them attractive over time." Every day my attraction to and love for Jon grows. And coffee too; Gotta have the bean juice.

4. Got to run 3 miles at the track in great weather...dance-running to the 80s...and meditating on God's glory. AND Clare napped practically the whole time I was gone. Won't be long before I am back to pre-pregnancy shape and fitness level. Am eager to find out what my weight is (we don't own a scale). Last time, I was about 60% the way there.

5. Dressed Clare in her spring dress from Grandma and went shopping at the dollar store (for her friend Patrick's upcoming baby shower) and mall. Found a 12 month sleeper for her...got to be ready, she grows overnight and is already in 9 month clothing!

6. Came home to the best news Jon and I have had all semester (or past two years, except for Clare): He got admitted into the University of Houston's philosophy MA program--one of the best in the nation for PhD placement in philosophy. We were both overjoyed and are pretty much anticipating moving to Houston this summer. Thanks be to God for His blessings on our family. And to Jon for pulling off an incredible achievement!

.....But even with all of this good news, I remember Job's words, which come to my mind often...the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

Eminently Kissable

2009-03-30T20:07:00.000-07:00

3 mos, 3 wks

and watching mama "dance"

The only hard part is you risk "Little Bo Peep" staying in your head all day

Absolutely Fascinated..Had to snap a photo of this!

2009-03-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

2009-03-30T18:18:00.001-07:00

Jon: I got a rejection letter today. It was really nice. They said I was one of their top choices. That means I must have been really close, you know, in the top tier of applicants.

Me: Wow, that is quite a compliment, so where is the letter? I want to see how they write something like that.

Jon: Um, it's in the trash

(digs it up and begins reading from the top)

Me : I don't see where it says anything like what you said about being a top choice.

Jon (puzzled) : Yeah, me either, weird...hmmm....

Oh wait! I misread this line...I thought they said I was one of their top choices, but instead they thank me for choosing them as one of my top choices!

*A good laugh, and back in the trash. Wouldn't it have been great if we never pulled it out in the first place? ;)

What life is like on the "other side" of the Boppy!

2009-03-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

[Opposite Day]

2009-03-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

All fades into the background as

I watch you

ponder all of the opportunities

and mistakes of time

gone by

It's all too much.

I utter

Not enough strength, but

thankfully

you do not understand.

My eyes well up with tears

deeper than

nothing as

I watch you

and see you

add and subtract

and multiply

all that has been lost

You are reminded--

there is so much to come

Yet you can't let go--

So much has been undone.

Imitating her papa...hard at work studying!

2009-03-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

Can someone please tell me

2009-03-27T18:11:00.001-07:00

where we are moving to? so I can pack my bags

and ship out?

Some funny comments..meant to build my self esteem, I think?

2009-03-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

Jessica to me weeks ago: "Wow, Lauren, you look normal!"

(This counts as a compliment to a postpartum mother, otherwise, probably not the best compliment you would ever hear lol)

Jon to me a few nights ago: "You're nerdy. But, I like that."

(ME the NERD?! I don't think so! Jon's the philosophy geek with glasses, Star Wars, and who secretly watches college science lectures on YouTube at night. There--I've said it.)

Contact Fr. Jenkins at president@nd.edu if you would like to protest Obama's invitation to speak at Notre Dame's commencement

2009-03-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Father Jenkins,

I must write to you concerning your invitation to President Obama. I am a Catholic young woman who just had her first child. As a Christian, I rejoice in the gift of my daughter Clare. Her new life only reinforces my dedication to the protection of life, both wanted and "unwanted."

It is deeply painful to me to think that a president who is okay with and forwards legislation for the killing of innocent young babies would be honored as a guest speaker at Notre Dame. How can such a thing happen under Our Lady's beautiful statue raised high on Notre Dame's golden dome? The image makes me cringe in grief. I hope that you too will come to share in this grief and that it will compel you to action.

Please, please, be courageous and rescind your invitation to President Obama and honor Our Lord instead by your faithful witness to the protection of the unborn children entrusted to us all.

Lauren Sorenson

2009-03-25T19:54:00.001-07:00

The other day when I returned home from the gym...THIS is what I noticed...

Me: Wow, what's all that black stuff on her diaper??

Jon: I don't know...

THEN, he tried to frame Clare!

But I know the TRUTH and it involves Jon and some chocolate muffin shenanigans.

2009-03-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

Jon: Wow, I'm glad that cake is gone, I ate way too much of it.

Me: You did?

Jon: Yeah, like A LOT.

Me: I didn't really eat that much of it. It was okay, but I don't think I ate much of it.

Jon (continuing): Yeah Yeah ...I'm totally done with it, I'm glad it's gone. I'm finished with that cake.

*pause*

Soooo... is there any left?

;)P

Thursday confession...

2009-03-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

To get this smile I had to dance like a maniac to one of the songs on Clare's new nursery rhyme CD. To make it better, the song was "Humpty Dumpty"...rap version. I later performed it for Jon in the kitchen; I think he was, um, surprised.

Long day?

2009-03-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

In Frames

2009-03-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

Clare is officially ticklish now...and teething. Our tri-part routine goes something like this: cue--washcloth dipped in ice cold water to Clare's mouth--cue--Clare on lap gnawing on one of our fingers--cue--nurse to sleep. Can't wait to see these teeth surface in a few months--we've worked hard for them!

She still loves bath time, being kissed/and now tickled, diaper changes (huh? weird), conversations with lots of eye contact, and her papa!

She has some steady obsessions like staring at the closet with all of the clothes and the window that is covered by a dark square blanket that contrasts with the white wall (ghetto, I know! Studies show children in homes with ghetto makeshift window coverings score higher on IQ tests--j/k!--but I guess you don't need contrasting mobiles, kids find their own).

She still resists tummy time and gets jealous when I am talking to someone on the phone or if a friend is over.

She has become better at sleeping on her own after I nurse her down, which is a great improvement, affording me some needed free time. Yes, I have come to consider doing dishes and laundry free time.

Oh, and did I mention she has learned to read?

Happy 3 Month Bday!

2009-03-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

2009-03-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

I have to let out a little laugh every night when I ask Clare if she "is ready for a change?"

The question reminds me too much of the recent presidential campaign and mandate.

And, really, the two realities aren't that different from each other...especially when the diaper is full of, well, you know.

Youngest Member

2009-03-01T12:54:00.001-08:00

Little Lauren with a tan?

2009-02-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

Clare's Evening Pilates

2009-02-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

Working up a sweat

Woo, holding up almost 12 lbs here!

Okay I am getting tired

Time to lounge now

Prisoner in Pink

2009-02-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

What we like to call "Kissy Kissy Game"

2009-02-19T10:15:00.001-08:00

Men in the kitchen...

2009-02-17T08:18:00.001-08:00

As coffee brews with no carafe, wife starts to quickly appreciate separate gender spheres

2009-02-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

Tired parents

Culprit

2 Months Old...with chubby cheeks & Papa's hairdo

2009-02-09T09:16:00.001-08:00

Jon is responsible for blow-drying her hair this way..haha..it has a peak!!

Update: Clare weighed in at 11.2 lbs at her 2 month check-up! Her doctor (whom I like to call "Dr. Giggles" as a joke [esp since he is on the serious side of life...but we nevertheless like him a lot and think he is highly competent]...*I do hope he never finds my blog now that I have confessed this) said that we more than made up for the beginning when weight gain was slower due to a small case of breastfeeding jaundice (which made Clare very sleepy and hard to feed). Good work Clare! According to Jon, she deserves some Chinese food and a toy for visiting the doctor.

Morning chats

2009-02-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

Me (looking at Clare in her bouncer seat): Look at how fat her cheeks are! They're so fat, they're hanging.

Jon: haha..She looks like Richard Nixon

Me: hahaha!!

Jon (in seriousness): You know, he was a good president...until he lied.

;)-

-------------------------------------

For those others who live in Steubenville, this will appeal..

(A few mornings ago)

Me: How's the weather?

Jon: It's nice outside...except for the gray.

Mark your TV guide!

2009-01-29T10:54:00.000-08:00

For all interested, Jon is going to be on EWTN (for brief student responses to questions concerning Christian ethics) this Sunday night 10 p.m. eastern time...so 7 p.m. for all of our west coast family and friends...

http://www.ewtn.com/audiovideo/index.asp

Hope?...Nope!!!

2009-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7857276.stm

I wonder how long it will be before his image is universally off of lunch pails and on picket signs.

Ugh.

Can I at least buy stock in bureaucracy?

Jon on his way out this morning..I think she's big enough now to walk to school with her papa ;)-

2009-01-27T08:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Mystical Body of Christ!!! Our Newest Christian: Clare Bernadette, baptized January 18th 2009

2009-01-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

"God brought you out of this nothingness, in order to make you what you are, not because He had any need of you, but solely out of His Goodness" -St. Francis de Sales Meditations

For every problem there is a way out...

2009-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Solution to bubbles: chair with rolled arms and willing subject (Oh, and imbedded in this solution is the solution to face scratching when gloves are in the wash: socks)

Solution to evening distress: ocean waves and straitjacket

Clare's First Month

2009-01-12T10:57:00.001-08:00

2009-01-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

Clare Bernadette's Birth Story

December 14, 2008

Feast Day of St. John of the Cross

One of my favorite scriptural passages for meditation during my pregnancy with Clare was from 2 Maccabees: "I do not know how you came into being in my womb. It was not I who gave you life and breath." I meditated often on this as I thought about the gift that God had given us. From our first view of her beating heart, we bonded as a family. This grew over nine months as we felt her first movement and found out she was a girl--we were carrying a daughter! Now we just had to wait to behold her.

The day Clare was born was originally planned to be a snowshoeing day in Seven Springs, Pennsylvania. [Jon: they were going to literally drop us off in the middle of the woods.] On Friday, December 12th Jon and I decided to drive a few hours away to go skiing; or, at least, Jon would ski and I would hang out in the lodge. As soon as I discovered that I could snowshoe, Jon and I began making plans for it. Admittedly, the ski school found it quite funny that a 9 month pregnant woman wanted to get dropped off in the woods in snowshoes, but they humored us so we planned on going the following Sunday after Mass. On Saturday morning we went to a cafe in Somerset called The Summit--a real Mom & Pops diner a little ways from the ski resort. All through breakfast I began noting regular contractions spaced about ten minutes apart. They were very mild. Jon was nervous to return to the slopes, but I felt very relaxed and preferred to stay and continue to enjoy the outdoors. Plus, it brought me a lot of joy to see how much Jon was enjoying skiing--a Danish Mexican on the slopes is a [hilariously] powerful combination!

All day Saturday I continued to have mild contractions. Thinking that they could just as well subside, I made dinner plans for 9:00 p.m. at one of our favorite restaurants. Around 6:30 p.m., the contractions became stronger. Although still very manageable, sitting down to dinner became less appealing, and well, snowshoeing was definitely out. We decided it was prudent to head back into Pittsburgh that night in case the contractions continued to progress. We arrived at our hotel in Pittsburgh near The Midwife Center late Saturday night. [It was at this point that Lauren preceded to call the guy at the front desk “mean” for jovially telling us that he could not make our stay any cheaper, even with AAA. Lauren at this point must not have been in the mood for joking around.] All night Saturday I was awake noting regular contractions. Sunday morning they became more distracting. Around 6:30 a.m., Jon and I decided to order room service. [It came just in time!] At about 7:00 a.m., before breakfast arrived, my water broke. Still, labor could be hours and hours away. We decided to call the midwife on call, but stay to have breakfast. Sitting on the floor, and between bites of oatmeal, I continued to have contractions that were definitely more intense. After breakfast, we made our way over to the birth center and arrived around 8:00 a.m. [Just before leaving, I Jon, had spoken with the Doola about Lauren’s contractions. Without letting Lauren know, because her contractions were moving along at a rather alarming pace at this point, I was given instruction to prevent her from attempting to push out Clare in the car.]

Our doula [Doola] met us there…[I must add that while we were walking from the car, Lauren had to stop and hug the wall of a nearby building and pray. I knew that Clare was getting closer]... and since the midwife had not arrived yet I continued to labor in our doula’s van in front of the center. [I meanwhile stood outside in the cold, way too charged up to sit in Teresa’s van (the Doola). Instead I loitered around the birth center doors, hoping to catch the first glimpse of our nurse’s chrome VW hood ornament glimmering in the winter morning’s light, bearing the hope that our daughter might be born indoors (or at least not in a van).] I managed to have a decent conversation about making your own bouncy balls with her seven-year old son Simon without having him see me struggle too much through what was now active labor. The midwife, Gloria, arrived in her street clothes (one detail which set me at ease) around 8:30 a.m. so we made our way inside. [Lauren, the moment we entered, declared to everyone that she was to be the “supporting actress” in the events about to unfold. Clare would of course be our star. She seemed so relaxed (in the middle of transition!) that what was about to be discovered shocked everyone...save myself.] It was a beautiful cold Sunday morning and the room we were having her in was painted a cool blue that accented the silvery winter day outside. The ceiling even was a decorative Victorian pattern that caught your eye and made you feel like you were in an oceanside hotel. [The three rooms at the birth center are themed, so we had previously chosen to birth in the “ocean room”]. I felt very happy in that room, maybe too happy because everyone was surprised when the midwife checked me and announced that I was already dilated to 8 centimeters! [I knew it!] It was so motivating to know that I was already so far into labor and still doing so well. Because of our support team, the environment, and how happy we were to be having Clare, we both felt very relaxed and focused. We couldn’t have asked for a more soothing place to give birth. It was also very quiet since it was Sunday.

After spending very little time laboring in bed, our doula suggested that I take advantage of the jacuzzi tub that they had in the attached bathroom. That sounded great to me! I was surprised that we were already pulling out the “big guns” and asked the doula if it wasn’t too early to use what I considered to be the most effective coping option. She said no: this baby was on her way and faster than I was expecting. So Jon put on his trunks and we entered the hot tub. [I was dressed in nothing but a swimsuit for the entire birth process.] I loved resting my body against Jon’s and using his confidence and peacefulness to stabilize myself through some of the more demanding contractions. [To give you a clear picture of how this worked, I lay in the tub first and then Lauren lay against me. Then we simply held each other in the water with our faces pressed side by side. When Lauren would have a contraction she’d move in closer to me and begin to pray. It was very peaceful to watch. As her contractions would crescendo, I kissed her and told her that I loved her and that I was proud of her for all that she was doing for our daughter. In response she would calmly pray and embrace my body]. Since I was not hooked up to electronic fetal monitoring, my cue to everyone that I was having a contraction was a profusion of prayer. I thanked God for the gift of our child. I asked St. Therese for her intercession. I thought of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I mediated on the Passion. Over and over I repeated what I had heard so many times in my principles of biblical study class with Dr. Hahn: Suffering without love is unendurable and love without suffering is impossible. I had already offered my intentions earlier and was happy to suffer for love of Clare.

Within what seemed like a short time [it was], I felt the urge to push and was determined to be fully dilated. With Jon’s arms around me, my pushing took on a rhythm of its own. I surrendered to the contractions as they radiated down my legs and decided that no matter what I was having Clare at the birth center--no transporting me to a hospital at that point otherwise the thought passed through my mind that I would have Clare either on the sidewalk [this almost happened] or a stretcher! We spent most of the pushing phase in the jacuzzi but since no midwife in Pennsylvania is licensed to manage water births, I had to get out for the final pushes. [It should be mentioned that Lauren did try one last time to convince the midwife to let us deliver in the water, however, once we were informed that she could help prevent tearing better if we were on the outside of the tub we were persuaded to make the difficult journey from the hot-tub to the bed nearby.] The hardest part about moving to the bed was the few seconds that I was apart from Jon since he had been such a reassuring presence for me and his constant touch was so important to helping me relax through contractions [but I was back by her side momentarily].

Once on the bed, I was guided to push whenever I felt like it using each contraction as an impetus. I loved self-directed pushing and enjoyed taking in deep breaths and rhythmically moving with each round of pushes. It felt like riding waves that would rise and ebb. I kept my eyes closed through almost all of this so that I could focus and not regress. Near the end of my final pushes, Jon moved to the end of the bed so he could catch Clare. [That I did. I really did not “catch” her as much as I yanked her out and placed her on her mother’s belly.]The midwife did an excellent job supporting Clare’s passage. I was thankful to know that the care there did not involve episiotomies and even though Clare presented with her hand on her face, I only had superficial tearing with two stitches. As she came out Jon reached in for her--the first to touch her--and placed her immediately on my abdomen. [See, it’s true.] We admired her and rejoiced in her beauty...Meanwhile, Clare just wanted to nurse! Jon cut the umbilical cord [which was oddly beautiful] and thus transitioned us all from pregnancy to the beautiful interdependence of parents and child.

Clare was born at 10:33 a.m., only two hours after we had arrived at the birth center. She weighed 6 lbs 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. She came with beautiful dark hair, wide blue eyes, olive skin [well, it was another color at first, but she did fine once they brushed her face with some oxygen], and the most beautiful face we had ever seen [she could be a baby model]. She looked just like we imagined her and we were so overjoyed to finally have her in our arms. Having delivered her in the unlikeliest of places on the strip in downtown Pittsburgh, we look forward to the day when Clare will proclaim herself a “Picksburger.”[Clare will forever be able to say that she was born on a mattress in a seedy part of downtown Pittsburgh.]

This is only the birth story of our Clare and we hope that in dedicating her to Jesus through Mary that her life story be one that is wholly abandoned to God and His ardent love for her. She was truly weaved by God within me and we are full of gratitude "For the life that is given to us by the Lord is enough for us" Tobit 5:18-19.

And it begins ALREADY...

2008-12-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light" ..Merry Christmas from Steubenville!

2008-12-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

All of the best gifts come in small packages...Please pray this Advent for all born and unborn children

2008-12-22T06:51:00.000-08:00

Photo Shoot: Just about 39 Weeks!

2008-12-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

Happy Feast Day of St. Nicholas of Myra!!! Now...an uninhibited complaint

2008-12-06T11:17:00.000-08:00

Standing in line at the post office today...

They offered two choices to customers for "holiday" stamps: 1) the Nutcracker; and 2) Madonna and Child...

Opting for the Nutcracker??

Since when was the Nutcracker God Incarnate?

I am truly grieved at what Christmas is in this country. I am tired of receiving Christmas cards with icicles, reindeer, and some jelly-filled construction of Santa Claus. I am tired of St. Nicholas' charity being recast as the rich giving to the rich. I am tired of Christmas being a "gift-giving exchange" party. I am tired of hustle and bustle, but no Jesus.

I want Jesus; You can keep the snowflake cards and glitter.

2008-12-04T17:38:00.001-08:00

Sitting at a deli in Pittsburgh before our last baby appointment:

Jon: At the Resurrection, my ears will be normal.

Me: I hope not! I love your elf ears!....I wonder what Clare's ears are going to look like?

Jon: Maybe she'll get one of yours and one of mine

;)-

2008-12-03T17:16:00.001-08:00

Went for a baby appointment today...and found out Clare has dropped lower since our last visit. Everything looks good...Let's get this show on the road!

Okay...one more "demotivator"

2008-12-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

Just for fun...A spin on the usual motivating posters..hehe

2008-12-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

2 weeks more to go (hopefully!) ... Any random guesses on her birthday? Her "due date" is Dec 15th but only 5% of babies are so punctual as that :)-

2008-11-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

Clearly scanning is not one of my talents. Jon is in the top photo with his dad and I am in the bottom one. I was 8 lbs 1 ounce and 21'' long. Jon was 10 lbs 3 ounces and also 21" long.

2008-11-29T08:23:00.001-08:00

Walking up the stairs to our apartment...

Me: So tonight I think I will make you some of these bite size protein balls from a recipe I came across so that you will study better. Good protein.

Jon: That sounds good

Me: Yeah. They have crunchy peanut butter, sesame seeds, flax seed, sunflower seeds, honey, oats, and you roll them in cotton

Jon (perplexed): Cotton?

Me: Oh no..haha..I meant coconut!

Jon: Those are some funny protein balls..rolled in cotton

haha :)-

2008-11-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

Lately Jon has been referring to Clare as "Clefairy"...In the interest of finding out exactly what image goes through his mind as he says this, I decided to look up this Pokemon figure online. And THIS is what I found:

Oh dear. If she comes out looking anything like this, then we have more on our hands than we imagined.

Jon in Show Business

2008-11-24T17:11:00.001-08:00

On Friday, Jon got a call asking him if he could do a short clip for EWTN on Christian ethics. He said yes. All weekend, we had fun joking about his entrance into "show business," how he would need to find an agent, how it all starts with a 30 sec clip right before a commercial break, how he already has experience with sets and cameras since he was in our wedding video after all.

Monday morning over breakfast...

Me: What time are you going to be filmed? Did they already film the show or are you all being filmed at the same time?

Jon (puffed up): It's in the can.

Me: What do you mean it's in the can?

Jon: That's show business talk, Lauren, and I'm in show business now, so that's what you say when something is done.

Me: Oh you have to be kidding me...lol

* In light of Jon's newfound stardom, which will probably be a never-ending joke for us now, I have to post this funny joke pulled from the website for Dr. Regis Martin's Fan Club since it relates to the show Jon was on for a few short clips:

"I believe I remember a time I was watching Franciscan University Presents and Dr. Martin, Dr. Hahn, and Fr. Mike were talking about something very spiritual...and very boring. At some point in the discussion Dr. Martin said something to the effect of, “We may want to change the subject before the eight people who are watching this show change the channel and get up to pour themselves another cup of prune juice.”

A Meditation on the Gift of Free Will

2008-11-22T21:06:00.000-08:00

According to St. Augustine, evil comes from free will in that we have the choice to choose goodness or not. If we did not have free will, we could not truly and sincerely love God since love requires self-donation. This freedom allows us to choose the absence of goodness (since evil can hardly be said to be a reality, but rather a privation of good), but then how can that be freedom at all? Are we free when we choose darkness (the absence of light) over light?

2008-11-20T20:57:00.001-08:00

Fr. Ryland, a Protestant convert, on being a faithful Catholic and not picking and choosing Church teachings, thereby making yourself the final authority:

"You can't be a little bit pregnant and you can't be a little bit Catholic; you either are or you ain't"

We were also thankful tonight to receive a wonderful blessing for Clare from Fr. Ryland. It means so much to me when priests pray for her. As I type, she is moving around confirming her enthusiasm :) Every day, especially now as we near her birth, I look forward to the moment that we will finally behold her and see God's handiwork. She truly is the supreme gift of our marriage.

2008-11-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

A life without such anticipation, a life no longer opened up to heaven, would be empty, a leaden life. That is why there are in reality no societies altogether lacking in cult. Even the decidedly atheistic, materialistic systems create their own forms of cult, though, of course, they can only be an illusion and strive in vain, by bombastic trumpeting, to conceal their nothingness.

-Cardinal Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI, The Spirit of the Liturgy

2008-11-19T08:26:00.001-08:00

Do bicyclists have to buy snow tires?

36 Weeks at Tim Horton's and our first true day of snow in Pittsburgh!

2008-11-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

Jon and I went for our 36 week baby appointment and the midwife confirmed that Clare is head down. All looks good! Please keep us in your prayers as we near her due "range." ;)

Sorry Ladies...Instead of praying for a date, pray for his vocation! ;)

2008-11-11T08:51:00.001-08:00

http://catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=14260

2008-11-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

At the end of our prayer before dinner...

Jon: And thank you, Lord, for our squirt (i.e., our daughter Clare!)

I think that one might just stick..lol

2008-11-09T19:08:00.001-08:00

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord

-Job 1:21

I thought he said it was "above his pay grade"????

2008-11-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

Obama supporting the Freedom of Choice Act, horrific : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf0XIRZSTt8&eurl=

To fight legislation that supports abortion sign this petition: http://www.FightFOCA.com/

Every baby is incommunicable, irreplaceable, beautiful.

2008-11-07T17:01:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4WrUuyx1Ds

2008-11-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

While we're sitting at dinner...

Me (looking at my left arm): Hey, my arm looks fat

Jon (without paying undue attention to it): No, it's the same

Me: But it's not. I remember my arm used to be the same thinness all the way down and now it's fat there. Just look.

Jon: Well, if anything it's a little swollen, that's all, just slightly.

Me: So you're agreeing it's fat?

Jon: Why won't you let me tell you what you should want to hear?

hahaha....

34 Weeks

2008-11-03T09:23:00.001-08:00

Wacky Professor and Globe Girl (Clare and I were Jon's Pedagogical Assistants ;)

2008-11-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

It's too bad you can't see his bow tie up close and his rolled trousers with mismatched socks and tennis shoes. So funny...reminds me of J. Alfred Prufrock:

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

Voting 2008

2008-10-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kri8G-lGYfg

6 more weeks

2008-10-30T10:33:00.000-07:00

Feeling very eager now to behold our daughter. About six more weeks to go until due date, but she will be considered term in only four more weeks (even more, we can still deliver her at the Midwife Center if she were born in 3 more weeks, as long as it is after 36 weeks I think--otherwise hospital here we come!). Everyday feels like she grows so much...her new favorite move is pressing out one of her limbs in my right side. However she is contorted in there, she spans my entire abdomen!

Jon and I still have a few more things left to check off on baby planning, but we're feeling prepared overall. We're taking an Infant CPR class in a few weeks and still need to do baby shopping for last essentials which we'll probably get to this Saturday. In terms of American living, we rank with the simplest as far as baby items go. Except for the corner of our bedroom where we stash her clothes and blankets, you wouldn't think a baby will be living here in a month or so. No crib, no bassinet, no changing table, no baby bath, no stroller! It's actually kind of funny when I think about it, but I feel better starting off without much and acquiring what we need later as we discover that we actually need it.

We do have a good car seat and diapers so at the least she will be safe and civilized ;)

An Affair for Clare

2008-10-26T16:26:00.001-07:00

33 Weeks

2008-10-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

2008-10-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

I love my husband!

2008-10-25T19:04:00.000-07:00

How is it that one day, one photo, one thought can bring joy and sorrow in the same moment... each compounding the other? The greater the joy, the more gray the absence of joy seems. The greater the sorrow, the more splendid the joy.
We are called as Christians to be a people set apart from the world, and this is where our cross and our joy lie together. The light makes the darkness so dark, yet it is the darkness that makes the light so extravagant.
***
"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)

Trax Farms 2008

2008-10-21T06:50:00.001-07:00

Woah 31 Weeks!

2008-10-13T19:31:00.001-07:00

2008-10-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have a very silly husband who will use any prop to get a laugh...including my headband! This is his demonstration of what Clare looks like if she resembles Jon more than me. My instructions for the photo: "Okay, now look like a little girl." Anyway, we can surmise that when Clare is a twenty-something, she will look like some version of these two goofs.

7.5 Months in Sewickley--our favorite hangout in PA!

2008-10-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

Prostaglandin Abortion

2008-10-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

I am at once deeply saddened and grateful at watching this short clip. Sad, in tears in fact, because beautiful children, willed by God to exist, are killed by their parents in such a gruesome way. Grateful because of our Catholic faith that upholds the dignity of these children. Father Frank Pavone is a saint for our time and has done so much to serve and love the unborn with his life. I pray that there is an end to contraception and abortion and a new love and culture of life that treats children as incommunicable gifts instead of products to be manufactured (in vitro fertilization, surrogate motherhood, etc) or burdens (contraception--especially as it causes early abortion) --both of which are rooted in selfishness. Don't have sex if you're going to be surprised or dismayed by a pregnancy! We are not dogs or cats that need to be sterilized! We have free will--exercise it for the sake of yourself and your future children! Don't rely on your false freedom to murder your child as a way to escape responsibility for your choices! We must protect our children, not kill them in their vulnerability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDpcj1DUcTw

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you."

Isaiah 49: 15

7 1/2 Months

2008-10-06T07:42:00.000-07:00

This image perfectly illustrates the two newest sensations I have had in the last week or so: kicking/punching very high in my abdomen (which usually makes for a good arm rest except when a kick shocks you in the middle of class); and one of Clare's body members lodging itself in my ribs so that when I bend slightly to eat it ain't so pleasant. No more sipping soup for me--that bowl's coming to the face!

Jon 'helps' me make chocolate covered strawberries..

2008-10-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

2008-10-02T07:31:00.001-07:00

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

Autumn in Steubenville

2008-09-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

Very suavamente

2008-09-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

Today Jon sends me a link to Amazon to a boxed set of philosophy DVDs with the following message:

"Clare said she wanted to buy this for her papa this Christmas! She's so cute isn't she?"

29 Weeks: Still getting use out of my old lap suit..Let's see how long I can pull this off

2008-09-29T13:38:00.000-07:00

A small reflection on baptism as the threshold to the life of faith

2008-09-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

Maybe the image of a river was planted in my mind from reading...but the image became a raging one at Mass this morning as I reflected on God's desire for each one of us, especially those of us who are indelibly marked with the seal of baptism.

The river rages, pulling us all along in the same direction. It is one river, as the way to salvation is through one church, one bride. The water is cleansing and powerful and regenerative, as are the sacraments. It is constantly flowing; constantly picking up new souls. It is also scary at times as we have to trust God's movement in our lives. God knows where this river is leading us even if we cannot see or comprehend its entry to the sea that is the rest and celebration of the wedding feast.

With our free will, we are free to leave this river, to hold on to some rock on the way, to hold on to some attachment to the world or to ourselves, which we call sin. We are free to pull out of it and throw ourselves on dry land since it seems easier because it may appear to be the way of less suffering, at least for the moment. But, we should remember, God's river is rushing while any stop for us is an obstacle that we place, not one that God does. His will is that the river flows and carries us to the love of the Trinity. And many a time, we can all say, God has a way of pulling us back from that rock or land or weed right back into his passionate love.

Now, what occurred most to me at Mass while I reflected on this image was why I have so often chosen, as St. Augustine says, the lesser goods to the greatest good of all? Why would any of us want to grab a rock and resist the love that constantly moves the river forward? I think there are a multitude of answers to this question. Thankfully, there are also a multitude of graces to help us all abandon ourselves to God's love and to His desire to bring us to Himself today and for eternity.

28 Weeks

2008-09-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

7 Months and ready for anything!

2008-09-20T19:08:00.000-07:00

Jon taking an hour to scrutinize the manual for Clare's car seat..which probably reminds him a lot of Aquinas' philosophical writings ;)

And her seat is finally installed after we had purchased a different one and returned it. Clare is now going to ride in the lap of Graco luxury with her very own ducky distraction from Grandma

6 Mos 3 Weeks

2008-09-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today was an exciting day. Went to a Pittsburgh Babywearers meeting and finally figured out how to use my ring sling! I was also introduced to some great ways to wear your baby in a Moby Wrap, a long piece of fabric that wraps around you and baby, distributing support very well all over. I can definitely see myself very happy with both, however, for different uses. Now, the question is whether Clare will dig them or not. Regardless, if she doesn't, then maybe the next baby will!

Anyway, I am ready to meet our daughter face to face. I have no picture in my mind of what (I should say who!) she looks like, except that I am expecting a dark haired little one. I also expect her to be long because Jon is 6'3" and I am no shrimp myself ;) but as far as her face, no idea whatsoever. All I know is I LOVE HER. I also know she is quite vivacious and likes for me to know she is there--by her wiggles and punches and somersaults. She also loves her papa already and starts to move whenever he is near and talking. A lot has been going on this month and people are right to say the second trimester rocks.

With God's grace, I am ready to die to myself for her like I do for Jon (okay, most of the time, but I am always repentant!!). Not "doing my best" like the saying goes: "She did her best as a mother." More "I suffered out of love for Christ and for her." Love is proved and perfected in suffering. My prayer is that I am humbled by motherhood, encouraged by God's love, and purified by suffering. Then I can really say that all I did for Clare was but for the grace of God and not me "doing my best" because alone my best is pretty crappy.

To vote with humility and hope on behalf of millions denied their human rights

2008-09-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61wj4tJICcc

2008-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

This morning since Jon had been awake all night studying...

Me: I have a new nickname for you: Study Bug.

Jon (smiling): Ok, then you're Lady Bug and Clare is Stink Bug

hahaha...stink bug??!

In Thanksgiving

2008-09-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

"I do not know how you came into being in my womb. It was not I who gave you life and breath."

2 Macc 7:22

And the St. Augustine wishful thinking goes on...

2008-09-08T20:44:00.001-07:00

These photos are from an email Jon sent me to try to convince me once again that he resembles the great theologian/philosopher. Sorry, honey, but willing something doesn't make it so... You're not St. Jon of Hippo!!!

6 1/2 Months

2008-09-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

We're down to less than 100 days... :)

Woo-hoo!! A response to Pelosi as well as an interesting and succinct read

2008-09-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

My favorite passage is this one from the American Medical Association: "Secular laws against abortion were being reformed at the same time and in the same way, based on secular medical experts’ realization that “no other doctrine appears to be consonant with reason or physiology but that which admits the embryo to possess vitality from the very moment of conception” (American Medical Association, Report on Criminal Abortion, 1871).

Respect for Unborn Human Life: The Church’s Constant Teaching

Fact sheet by the USCCB Committee on Pro-Life Activities. Click here to print as a PDF.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “Since the first century the Church has affirmed the moral evil of every procured abortion. This teaching has not changed and remains unchangeable. Direct abortion, that is to say, abortion willed either as an end or a means, is gravely contrary to the moral law” (No. 2271).

In response to those who say this teaching has changed or is of recent origin, here are the facts:

From earliest times, Christians sharply distinguished themselves from surrounding pagan cultures by rejecting abortion and infanticide. The earliest widely used documents of Christian teaching and practice after the New Testament in the 1st and 2nd centuries, theDidache (Teaching of the Twelve Apostles) and Letter of Barnabas, condemned both practices, as did early regional and particular Church councils.
To be sure, knowledge of human embryology was very limited until recent times. Many Christian thinkers accepted the biological theories of their time, based on the writings of Aristotle (4th century BC) and other philosophers. Aristotle assumed a process was needed over time to turn the matter from a woman’s womb into a being that could receive a specifically human form or soul. The active formative power for this process was thought to come entirely from the man – the existence of the human ovum (egg), like so much of basic biology, was unknown.
However, such mistaken biological theories never changed the Church’s common conviction that abortion is gravely wrong at every stage. At the very least, early abortion was seen as attacking a being with a human destiny, being prepared by God to receive an immortal soul (cf. Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you”).
In the 5th century AD this rejection of abortion at every stage was affirmed by the great bishop-theologian St. Augustine. He knew of theories about the human soul not being present until some weeks into pregnancy. Because he used the Greek Septuagint translation of the Old Testament, he also thought the ancient Israelites had imposed a more severe penalty for accidentally causing a miscarriage if the fetus was “fully formed” (Exodus 21: 22-23), language not found in any known Hebrew version of this passage. But he also held that human knowledge of biology was very limited, and he wisely warned against misusing such theories to risk committing homicide. He added that God has the power to make up all human deficiencies or lack of development in the Resurrection, so we cannot assume that the earliest aborted children will be excluded from enjoying eternal life with God.
In the 13th century, St. Thomas Aquinas made extensive use of Aristotle’s thought, including his theory that the rational human soul is not present in the first few weeks of pregnancy. But he also rejected abortion as gravely wrong at every stage, observing that it is a sin “against nature” to reject God’s gift of a new life.
During these centuries, theories derived from Aristotle and others influenced the grading of penalties for abortion in Church law. Some canonical penalties were more severe for a direct abortion after the stage when the human soul was thought to be present. However, abortion at all stages continued to be seen as a grave moral evil.
From the 13th to 19th centuries, some theologians speculated about rare and difficult cases where they thought an abortion before “formation” or “ensoulment” might be morally justified. But these theories were discussed and then always rejected, as the Church refined and reaffirmed its understanding of abortion as an intrinsically evil act that can never be morally right.
In 1827, with the discovery of the human ovum, the mistaken biology of Aristotle was discredited. Scientists increasingly understood that the union of sperm and egg at conception produces a new living being that is distinct from both mother and father. Modern genetics demonstrated that this individual is, at the outset, distinctively human, with the inherent and active potential to mature into a human fetus, infant, child and adult. From 1869 onward the obsolete distinction between the “ensouled” and “unensouled” fetus was permanently removed from canon law on abortion.
Secular laws against abortion were being reformed at the same time and in the same way, based on secular medical experts’ realization that “no other doctrine appears to be consonant with reason or physiology but that which admits the embryo to possess vitality from the very moment of conception” (American Medical Association, Report on Criminal Abortion, 1871).
Thus modern science has not changed the Church’s constant teaching against abortion, but has underscored how important and reasonable it is, by confirming that the life of each individual of the human species begins with the earliest embryo.
Given the scientific fact that a human life begins at conception, the only moral norm needed to understand the Church’s opposition to abortion is the principle that each and every human life has inherent dignity, and thus must be treated with the respect due to a human person. This is the foundation for the Church’s social doctrine, including its teachings on war, the use of capital punishment, euthanasia, health care, poverty and immigration. Conversely, to claim that some live human beings do not deserve respect or should not be treated as “persons” (based on changeable factors such as age, condition, location, or lack of mental or physical abilities) is to deny the very idea of inherent human rights. Such a claim undermines respect for the lives of many vulnerable people before and after birth.

For more information: Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Declaration on Procured Abortion (1974), nos. 6-7; John R. Connery, S.J., Abortion: The Development of the Roman Catholic Perspective (1977); Germain Grisez, Abortion: The Myths, the Realities, and the Arguments (1970), Chapter IV; U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, On Embryonic Stem Cell Research (2008); Pope John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae (1995), nos. 61-2.

2008-09-01T19:49:00.001-07:00

This morning while preparing breakfast...

Jon: You know who looks like me? St. Augustine. I've never mentioned it before to anyone, but I've always thought it.

hahahaha WHAT?!

Just for measure, here is one popular depiction of the eminent 4th century Church father, theologian and philosopher from Algeria that Jon seems to think resembles himself:

Yes, Clare, your papa is one cracked egg.

First Day as a Franciscan Student!!!

2008-08-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

After studying English at Duquesne, I can't say enough what a privilege and joy it is to study theology at Franciscan. It is so exciting to learn from the great faculty here and to be with so many beautiful Catholics from different backgrounds and almost all the states. Let's just say, it's a far cry from my "feminist" experience at Duquesne...really, if Duquesne English grad students want to learn about real femininity, they should sit in on some Franciscan classes where the women are so much more joyful and peaceful. The Catholic Church's teaching on what it is to be female and the dignity of womanhood is tremendously beautiful. Good thing feminism, like so many of the -isms, will only last so long (if it hasn't flopped over already in embarrassing error) whereas the truth is eternally appealing.

She's a growin...24 Weeks

2008-08-24T21:00:00.001-07:00

El Paso, Texas 2008

2008-08-23T09:51:00.001-07:00

Clare and I @ 6 Mos

2008-08-22T10:18:00.000-07:00